10 Things To Do If You're An Anxious + Overwhelmed Stepmom

When I first became stepmom, I went all in
, doing all the things for all the people.

I was going to solve my husband’s issues.
Make everything better.
Everything would be perfect.
Except it wasn’t. 



I was overwhelmed, depressed and resentful. 



As a child of divorce and Child Protection Worker with a background in Psychology and Social Service Work, I thought I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to marry a man with three kids. 

I used to work with families who share custody and helped support parents in their co-parenting. 

BUT, it turns out that being an expert on the outside and living it in real life is two entirely different things.


When I went to the internet for support, I was disappointed. All I found was ex-wife bashing and negativity. I knew this wasn’t going to make anything better.

 

After a lot of work on myself and my family, I decided to create the type of stepmom support I was looking for back then.

Fast forward to now, through my signature coaching framework and straightforward approach, I’ve supported thousands of stepmoms in redefining their stepmom experience. Going from anxious, overwhelmed and consumed to a thriving stepmom.

If you’re ready to make the shift, here’s what you’re going to do.

1. 
You’re going to unsubscribe from the current stepmom narrative. The double standards and unrealistic expectations for stepmoms. You’re going to start to dive into what works for YOU and your unique stepfamily dynamic.
   


2. You’re going to focus on things you can control and stop dwelling on the ex and co-parenting conflict. 

   
   
3. You’re going to check yourself and your mindset. Are the stories you’re telling yourself true? Are you allowing yourself to get triggered based on your fears and insecurities?
   
   
4. You’re going to get proactive and not reactive with your stepfamily stressors. How are you going to minimize the impact of the extra stress? Get ahead of the stressor and plan your reaction ahead of time. Ask yourself, how would the best version of me show up in this situation?
   
   
5. You’re going to redefine what it means to disengage as a stepmom. You can disengage without disconnecting. Disengaging doesn't mean that you don't care. In fact, it's a great opportunity to regroup and reset the foundation of your stepfamily life.
   
   
6. You’re going to change your communication style and learn how simple tweaks can help you feel more aligned with your partner and your stepkids. 


   
   
7. You’ll educate yourself on the complexities of stepfamily dynamics and understand that your feelings and your experiences are common.
    
8. You’re going to dive into your stressors and discover what’s REALLY going on for you here. Mindset, personal growth and accountability are going to change your life. Our childhood wounds show up in our stepfamily life. Feel like an outsider? Do you struggle with feeling like you’re not a priority? Did you experience any of this as a child? Remember, our triggers show us where we are not healed.
   
   
9. You’re going to set boundaries out of love, not spite.
   
   
10. You’re going to audit what's working and what’s not and get real about a plan for your unique stepfamily dynamic. 

    
    

If you do all these things, you’re going to improve relationships, minimize conflict, feel more confident, change the vibe of your home, and feel more empowered.