Last week in the episode on The KICK-ASS Stepmom Podcast, with Hannah from The Style Audit, I shared that I used shopping as a way to help me find my confidence. As a young new stepmom with “going out shirts,” I didn’t really feel like I fit the look for my new life.
What I was wearing as a 26 year old was not the same as the 40 year old women in their world.
Every event came with extra stress trying to figure out what to wear. I’d go to the mall and grab an outfit, or try on every single thing in my closet and completely trash our bedroom trying to find something that made me feel like I looked the part.
The only problem was that the following week I would find myself in the exact same place.
Having just gone shopping, but still having nothing to wear.
At that point, I was shopping to feel more confident at these events. The problem was I had no strategy.
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In the episode, Hannah asked me if it worked. Did shopping actually help me become more confident?
I’ve been thinking about my response ever since.
The answer is no. Not at first.
But when I changed my approach, it absolutely did.
When I made these shifts, everything changed.
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I stopped shopping for specific events and started shopping to curate a closet full of options.
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I created a colour palette that feels like me and focused on multi use pieces.
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I stopped listening to people who told me I needed more colour. If you love colour, have at it. But I feel my best in cool neutrals and black. Dress for you.
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I started buying things I can dress up and dress down.
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I created a Pinterest board with inspiration that reflects my style and includes things I already own.
I no longer buy things just because I like them.
Now the questions are:
- Where can I wear this?
- How many times will I wear it?
- How many different ways can I style it?
And the big one.
- Is this what the best version of me would wear?
CURATING THE BEST VERSION OF YOU
if you've been in my world for a while, you know that I talk about your new stepmom era. The elevated version of you.
Every women I have worked with gets the point where she says "i don't want to feel this way anymore"
Maybe you've had that moment and that's why you're here.
Maybe you're on the brink of it.
Either way, it's a powerful moment in a womans life.
If you haven’t already, grab a journal and ask yourself questions like:
The elevated version of me…
What does she wear?
What does she do every day?
What are her daily routines?
How does she respond to conflict?
And don’t mistake this as copying someone you see online living a life that isn’t yours.
The question is not who is the elevated version of them.
It’s who is the elevated version of YOU in your life right now.
For example, maybe the influencer you follow wears an oversized blazer to Pilates with a crop top. Hello LA vibes.
But you feel your best in leggings and an oversized tee.
Curate the best leggings. Find the tee that makes you look and feel amazing.
That is your version.
There is some truth to the saying look good feel good.
But it has to be YOU.
CURATING MY WARDROBE
Over the years I’ve curated my wardrobe so that it actually works for my life. In the last year I’ve refined things even more.
Now when something comes into my closet, it has to fit the overall vision.
Pieces that work together.
Pieces I can wear on repeat.
Pieces that actually feel like me.
Over time I’ve built a wardrobe that is simple, intentional, and easy to get dressed from.
And honestly, that alone has removed so much unnecessary stress from my life.
Here's a peek and pieces I have been wearing on repeat.
click the image for the link
As I mentioned, I also use Pinterest. And often. Click below to head to my personal account.
Most mornings when I don't know what to wear, I head to Pinterest for inspo.
